Inspired by the Vice President’s approach to foreign and domestic policy, I offer these modest resolutions in her honor.

I will no longer keep my door locked.  Instead, I will focus on the root causes of breaking and entering.

I will no longer support better training for police officers.  Instead, I will focus on the root causes of violence.

I will no longer favor a strong defense.  Instead, I will focus on the root causes of war.

I will no longer drive carefully.  Instead, I will focus on the root causes of highway accidents.

I will no longer teach.  Instead, I will focus on the root causes of ignorance.

I will no longer work.  Instead, I will focus on the root causes of poverty.

Finally, I will no longer vote.  Instead, I will focus on the root causes of idiocy in public life.