In some states and countries, legislators have moved to criminalize misgendering – that is, calling people by their biological sexes instead of the sexes they say they are.

What a blow for equality!  But why stop there?  Why do we stigmatize misgendering, and yet turn a blind eye to misspeciesing?

After all, some folks claim to be cats, foxes, raccoons, and other animals.  It insults them to be called human.  I say, all of the bigots who call them people should be put in jail.

Besides being right and just, calling folks by their true species would also save on the costs of raising kids.  If little Jeffy identifies as a dog, he can be kept in a doghouse and fed kibble, and there is no need to send him to school.  I can see this becoming very popular, especially among people who don’t like their children.

And what about all the people who claim to be different people?  If they say they are, then they are.  That’s just science!  From now on, anyone who says he is Donald Trump must be addressed as “Mr. President,” and anyone who says he is Jesus Christ must receive the prayers of the faithful.

The pioneer of this movement for justice was Grace Slick, former singer with Jefferson Airplane, once called the Queen of Acid Rock.  After Slick delivered a daughter -- excuse me, an offspring assigned the female sex at birth -- a Catholic nurse came around with a form, asking what name she had chosen for her.  Slick replied, “god. We spell it with a small g because we want her to be humble.”

Unfortunately, Slick didn’t have the courage of her convictions.  Claiming she had been joking, she later said that her daughter should be called “China.”

Poor little girl, to be relegated to such a wretched fate!  For all her days to be called a mere country, when really she was the lord of the universe!

These cruelties have got to be stopped.  Everyone has a right to be affirmed in, well, whatever.  No more putting it off.  Do it now.