I can doubt that there is a Vermont
I can doubt that I eat my croissant
Though it comes as a shock
And a startling knock
I can doubt anything that I want!
I can doubt whether life is a dream
And whether a song is a scream
Whether girls correspond
To manes red, black, and blonde --
Perhaps nothing is just as it seems.
If I could have truths for a penny
Then surely I’d have a great many
Were they clear, then I’d know
Every one, even though
I just don't, so there must not be any!
And if I could clearly conceive
What were true, then I’d surely believe.
It would matter a lot
What I put in the pot
Of the thoughts to which intellect cleaved.
But since I can’t plainly perceive it
I’m not dutybound to believe it
Since belief is just chatter,
It just doesn’t matter,
I can equally take it or leave it.
This being the case, I’d be stressed
To think any thought I detest.
Since truth’s not a question,
And just an oppression,
I’ll think only what I like best.
So far as my mind can construe
I know this, I’ll know it, I knew
It’s simple and sheer
Giving nothing to fear
And undoubtedly all of it’s true.
Golly, I can doubt anything whatsoever. Therefore there is no good reason to believe anything. If there were clear truths, then I wouldn’t have these doubts. But I do, so there must not be. Logically, then, it doesn’t matter what I believe. It would be especially silly to believe anything that would interfere with my desires. All this, undoubtedly, is true.