Yo, She’s Pregnant

Monday, 03-02-2015

Mondays are for student letters – or at least letters from young people -- and yes, this was a real letter.

Question:

Yo, wass up, I’ve been dating my girl for about a year now and I love her you know, even if I don’t always tell her that.  Anyways we just found out that she’s pregnant and she’s really upset, she doesn’t know how to tell her folks.  Oh yeah, I’m 20 years old, she’s only 17.  I’m young, intelligent, make a good living for myself.  My girl is from a different background, her parents don’t mind that, but they’re real strict and I think things will change now that I got her pregnant.  We don’t believe in abortion and she don’t want to give it up for adoption so we’re gonna have to eventually tell them what’s going on.  What should I do? How can I let her know I’m sorry?  Please help me.

Reply:

You say you love her.  I don’t see the evidence yet.  Do you really want to know how to let her know that you’re sorry?  Or do you just want to get off the hook?  The way to show that you’re sorry is to do the right thing.

This is where you find out how much you want to be a man.

No matter what you’re afraid of, her parents have a right to be told; there is no “eventually.” The sooner the better.  Like today.  Most families pull together in a pinch. 

If you were both of age, I would tell you to marry her, provide for her, stay married, be faithful, and be a good father.  That’s the advice I gave another young guy who got his girlfriend pregnant.*  Your case is different, because depending on where you live, she may not be of age.

I can’t give you advice about the law.  Morally, I advise you to face the music.  Do what you can to repair the hurt that you’ve done to this girl and your unborn child.  That includes providing for them.

From now on, everything else in your life takes second place, and I mean everything.

Note

* See “I Got My Girlfriend Pregnant.  What Now?”  The girlfriend of that letter wrote to me a moving letter of her own some time later – after she and the young man were married and the baby was born -- and I included it in Ask Me Anything, pp. 66-68.

Tomorrow:  Light Through Darkness

 

Was St. Paul a Southerner?

Sunday, 03-01-2015

The evidence is his persistent employment of the second person plural.  For example:

“The God of peace be with y’all.”  (Romans 15:33)

“Now I want y’all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy .... I thank God that I speak in tongues more than y’all; nevertheless, in church I would rather speak five words with my mind, in order to instruct others, than ten thousand words in a tongue.”  (1 Corinthians 14:5, 18)

“My love be with y’all in Christ Jesus.  Amen.”  (1 Corinthians 16:24)

“And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of y’all.”  (2 Corinthians 2:3)

“And besides our own comfort we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his mind has been set at rest by y’all.”  (2 Corinthians 7:13)

“The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with y’all.”  (2 Corinthians 13:14)

“For God is my witness, how I yearn for y’all with the affection of Christ Jesus”  (Philippians 1:8)

“We give thanks to God always for y’all, constantly mentioning you in our prayers.”  (1 Thessalonians 1:2)

“The Lord be with y’all.  I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand.  This is the mark in every letter of mine; it is the way I write.  The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with y’all.”  (2 Thessalonians 3:16-18)

Tomorrow:  Yo, She’s Pregnant

 

Pining for Mordor

Saturday, 02-28-2015

Want to win bets?  You can guess how persons of the liberal persuasion will come down on any issue by considering which opinion would justify an expansion of government.  This is true not only in the case of “Do something!” issues like global warming, but even the case of supposedly libertarian issues, like sexual self-definition, because the state must compel everyone else to go along.  It isn’t true that the issues compel them to seek totalizing government; rather the enchantment of totalizing government sways them to view the issues in certain ways.

Tomorrow:  Was St. Paul a Southerner?

 

Goo Goos

Thursday, 02-26-2015

I am speaking in Tucson Thursday night

Political slang used to be a lot more fun.  In the days of the big-city political machines, Progressives who fancied themselves advocates of “good government” were called Goo Goos.

One of the main targets of the Goo Goos was the patron-client system that kept the political establishment working.  They considered it corrupt, because people went along with the party not because they agreed with its policies, but because they received material rewards for doing so.

The irony is that although the Goo Goos partially dismantled the old patron-client system, they set up another in its place, on a national scale, with politically-connected interest groups instead of ward bosses in control.

Like the old patronage system, the new one rewards fat cats who cooperate with the system, for example ideologically correct businesses (think Solyndra) and labor organizations (think government employee unions).

What about the not-so-fat cats?  The old system disbursed Thanksgiving turkeys and patronage jobs to cooperators who weren’t well off.  The new one promises them welfare.

If there has to be a patronage system – it’s an ancient model of government – I prefer the old one.

Tomorrow:  Pining for Mordor

 

 

Marvelous Resource

Wednesday, 02-25-2015

I am speaking in Tucson tomorrow night

“... and the Lord went before them to show the way by day in a pillar of a cloud.”  Faith, similar to clouds, is opaque with its mysteries, dissolves when it gives way to vision, and moistens by arousing devotion.

– Thomas Aquinas, Commentary on the Letter of Saint Paul to the Ephesians

I have only recently discovered that the Aquinas Institute for the Study of Sacred Doctrine has put all of St. Thomas’s New Testament commentaries online.  After selecting the commentary you want to read, you can study the text and translation in parallel columns.  The mouth of the mind waters at the very thought of it.

Ultimately, the Institute aims to put all of the Angelic Doctor’s works into print, and the printed volumes are even better.  As I type this post, I’m examining the Institute’s edition of the Commentary on the Letter of Saint Paul to the Romans, translated by F.R. Larcher.  St. Paul’s words are given in Latin, Greek, and English;  St. Thomas’s line-by-line exposition, in Latin and English.  Beautiful.

Tomorrow:  Goo Goos

 

Nothing Is Neutral

Tuesday, 02-24-2015

If I say that euthanasia should be illegal because murder violates the law of God, then obviously I suppose that there is a God, that He has a law, that this law ought to be obeyed, that it forbids murder, that euthanasia is murder, and that He requires human authority to back him up on such a point.

If instead I say that euthanasia should not be illegal, then obviously I suppose either that there is no God, that even if there is a God He has no law, that even if He has a law it need not be obeyed, that even if it must be obeyed it does not forbid murder, that even if it does forbid murder euthanasia is not murder, or that even if euthanasia is murder He does not require human authority to back him up on such a point.

If I seek relief from judgment in the doctrine that the state has neither the right nor the competence to decide such questions, then I deceive myself, for indecision is decision; to say that the state should not pass judgment is merely to pass judgment that euthanasia should be legal.

It is not enough to have no suppositions -- at some point there must be a contrary supposition.  That contrary supposition may be "secular," but it is still "religion" in that it is still about the meaning of the universe.  The relevant distinction is not between a secular public life and a religious public life, but between a public life informed by a secular religiosity and a public life informed by the older religiosity which the secular one opposes.

A particular kind of morality and religion can be pushed out of the public realm, but morality and religion as such cannot be pushed out of the public realm.

Tomorrow:  Marvelous Resource

 

Would God Make Me Give Up My Calling?

Monday, 02-23-2015

If any Underground Thomists are in Tucson on the evening of Thursday, February 26, you may be interested in an autobiographical talk I’ve been asked to give at a Veritas Forum at the University of Arizona.  The title is “Why I Am Not an Atheist.”

But Mondays are always reserved for letters from students, and here we go.

Question:

I am a writer.  I've enjoyed writing stories since third grade, and have embraced the word "writer" as my label.  Lately I've been feeling out of touch with God.  I know that we shouldn't rely totally on feelings, but I do believe they are there for a reason.  I wonder if I have this feeling because I've been focusing too much on writing instead of Him.  I really want to follow His will, but there are two problems:  I don't know what His will is, and I'm afraid that it might require me to give up writing.  I don't know if I'd be able to do that.  I love writing too much.  I'm trying to convince myself that God's will for my life is to write many short stories to my heart's content, and that He'd use them for His will even though they aren't Christian in nature (not to say that they're bad, or offensive, they're just secular, pure and simple).

I guess what I'm really trying to ask is this:  Would God require us to give up talents, skills, and likes that He created us with, for His overall plan for humanity? I worry that by telling myself "No," I'm just giving myself the answer that I want to hear -- but is it true?

Reply:

It's hard to imagine God telling you not to write, since you are so sure that His calling for you is "Write!"  To endow a person with talents, skills, and likings that direct him strongly toward an honorable kind of work is a way of calling him.  Why else would He give you these things?  Unless there is something you're not telling me, why agonize?

So often people expect God's "call" to be an audible voice, perhaps from a convenient burning bush.  Could that be your problem?  Not that He has never used such methods!  But He seems to reserve them for extraordinary callings that require extraordinary methods of announcement.  There is no particular reason to think that He would create and adorn you with temperament and talents that pushed you so strongly toward writing, then tell you "Now be an accountant."  Besides, there isn't any rule that says that an audible voice is more likely to be God's than the "voice" of the skills He has given you.  You'll always need discernment.  Even if an audible voice did tell you to be an accountant, you'd have to ask whether it was God or just your iPod.

Or could your worry be that your stories are "secular," as you call them?  Let's think about that, because the term can mean a lot of different things.  Sometimes when people call something secular, they mean that it reflects an alienated view of the world according to which there is no God, no meaning, and no hope.  I don't think that's what you have in mind -- at least I hope not. I think you mean only that your stories don't have explicitly religious themes -- that they aren't about things like worship, conversion, or Being Left Behind.  My response is: Don't worry about it. Suppose you were a painter.  Would God tell you to stop painting because your canvasses showed starry skies instead of scenes from the Bible? Or suppose you were an architect. Would He tell you to give up your profession because you happened to build homes instead of churches?  Don't the heavens proclaim His glory? Didn't He live for 30 years in an ordinary home?

I think it's the same with the writing of stories. Everything that is good and well done ultimately points to Him; by faithfully reflecting the realities of the human heart, you honor the Creator of the heart. Many a story that doesn't mention Christ is implicitly more Christian than many a story that does.  Laughter pleases Him too; we don't always have to be serious, like beasts of burden. I cannot believe that hilarity wasn't one of His creations, and I revel in the comedies of P.G. Wodehouse.  My advice is that if your stories are dull, shoddy, careless, corrupting, or ordained for dishonorable purposes, then you should doubt your calling.  Not otherwise.

There are two complications.  Here is the first.  In the strictest sense of the term, a calling is something permanent.  The calling to marriage is like that; God never calls a husband to abandon his wife.  So is the calling to the priesthood, or to the consecrated religious life.  Writing isn't that kind of calling.  It might please your Creator for you to take up another kind of work some day, just as He called upon Moses to stop herding his father-in-law's sheep.  I can't tell you that won't happen.  I can’t tell you that it won’t require the last ounce of your strength.  What I can tell you is that if it does happen, it won't happen in the way that you fear.  You won’t be thrown away.  God won't give you contradictory guidance, He won't put the temperament and talents He has given you to waste, and He is not displeased for you to follow the guidance He is giving you now.  You can't do tomorrow's duty today; you can only do today's.

The second complication -- as I mentioned – is that there may be something you're not telling me.  Perhaps you don't really like writing, but just like the idea of writing.  Perhaps you aren't really talented at it, but just like the idea of being talented.  Perhaps your stories aren't as innocent as you say they are.  I'm not particularly worried, mind you.  Good writers are often filled with unnecessary self-doubts; nothing in your letter suggests that you aren't being honest with yourself.  Just be sure that you are!

The first step in doing that is to get to the bottom of the other problem you mention.  You say you feel "out of touch" with God, and you wonder whether your writing is to blame.  It shouldn't be, and yet it could be.  The reason is this:  It isn't the obviously bad things in life that we're tempted to turn into idols, but the good and godly ones.  I mentioned before that you should write "as unto the Lord."  The question is:  Is that the way that you do it?  So much depends on the rest of your life.  Worship often; pray constantly; practice the action of charity; and avoid what you know to be sin.  Yes, love and enjoy your craft!  But if you love the beauty of words, that is all the more reason to adore the Word in whom all Story has its source.

Tomorrow:  Nothing Is Neutral