Recently I spoke with a student who was strongly attracted to the view of marriage maintained by the natural law tradition. He told me, though, that he had been cohabiting with the same woman for five years, and “we consider ourselves married.” His question: Isn’t this the equivalent of marriage? Does it matter?
The mainstream of the classical tradition links the reality of the natural law with the reality of God. Thomas Aquinas, for example, says that just as the authority of good human laws depends on the natural law, so the authority of natural law comes from the Eternal Law – from the Wisdom by which God made and governs the universe.
I hadn’t seen your important point about the woman being at a disadvantage in cohabitation made before in quite the way you did in your post “Cohabitation Is Not Marriage Prep.” A personal anecdote:
Never underestimate the brutal power of desperation, on either the right or the left.
Curiously, many people today think that God pays attention only to big things that affect everyone at once.
I guess this means He keeps the galaxies in their orbits, but doesn’t listen to the prayers of Aunt Lucy.
If we claim God as Father, shall we not at least be consistent?
The idea that cohabitation is good preparation for marriage is amazingly persistent, considering that it isn’t even close to being true.
Research consistently shows that couples who do cohabit have poorer relationships before marriage, poorer marriages if they do marry, and much higher rates of divorce.
